zume

You know you’re living in 2005 when…
(I actually made many of these.)

* Your fridge reminds you to pick up milk sponsored by target, and your japanese toilet schedules regular doctor checkups for you as it plays mp3's and asks you what tempature you would like the seat to be.
* Your car GPS whines at you when you miss a turn, and rerouts you through another town.
* You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
* You call someone a pedophile, if they talk to your kid, and they agree with you.
* Some punks car sterio sets off a chain of car alarms at 1am.
* You call 911 to ask if you can put shock collars on your children.
* You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
* Dilbert is in your photo album.
* Your computer is reading this text to you.
* You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
* You find out your doctor has been selling your xrays on a porn site.
* You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
* You have 14 remote controlls, audio beepers on each one, with the batteries dead.
* You haven't payed for your software/music/movies in three years, yet you whine about your O.S. while downloading another one.
* Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
* You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
* Everything you see was made in China.
* Your car took six year to pay off.
* Moving your TV means sifting through a mountain of cables and labeling them on grid paper.
* You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
* You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
* Your mouse can blind you.
* You have no idea what the company you work for actually does.
* Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
* Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
* Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
* You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
* You parents read your website to find out what you've been up to.
* You dont care who the president is nowadays.
* You pay off credit cards with bank loans and spend four hours a week shredding junk mail.
* You sleep with your mobile phone -- and your laptop!
* You're down with HTTP.
* You and your roommate sit in the livingroom and IM each other fun links.
* You know what a Blog is, you update yours every five minutes, and now youre adding Moblog and VideoBlogging to the list.
* You know your "Hot or Not" ranking.
* Your commute to work takes four hours in traffic so you have your meetings via conference calls.
* You get paranoid when youre not multitasking and hearing the soothing hum of the computer.
* You feel sick and disoriented when you cant access Google.
* Your neighbor the programmer geek actually gets all the girls.
* You have one floppy disk, in a glass case covered with dust, with the words "one small step for man" etched into its golden sticker.